Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 35-year-old female from the South Side of the city. Recently, while out at a club, I met a really handsome and funny 35-year-old guy. We hit it off big time. There’s just one problem: He wears his hair in braids. It is indeed a tur
Recently I invited him to escort me to a business event, he showed up with the same hairstyle but had added gold and silver beads because he said it made him more dressed up while wearing his tux. I was so humiliated that I gave him the silent treatment all night and refused to introduce him to co-workers. I haven’t spoken to him since then, and this happened two weeks ago. He’s been leaving voicemail messages and honestly doesn’t know what the problem is. What should I do? -Leave The Ching-A-Ling Style At Home
Dear Leave The Ching-A-Ling Style At Home, Child, please this is funny, but it is also a travesty. If any man over the age of 25 is wearing his hair in braids and beads, something is definitely wrong. At some point, men must understand that braids and beads, low hanging pants, only wearing gym shoes or any other out of place attire, is a sure sign of them being immature. Ladies, this type of behavior should be a turn off from the moment they approach you if that’s not what you want from your man. If you, indeed, like this guy, then you need to be up front and honest with him. Talk to him about appropriate attire, especially at a business function. Doing the silent treatment does no good; it only builds unwanted, and unnecessary anxiety and resentment. Tell him that you were embarrassed and you are looking for someone with a more dignified appearance. If he doesn’t conform and still insists on looking like Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, then you will have to get used to the idea of him not being the gentleman for you, and move on. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy, I went to my cousin’s bridal shower. She is a 29-year-old graduate student studying to earn her MBA and has a great career as a marketing executive. Her fiancΘ is 34 and is a music executive with a prestigious record label. All is well, but there is something that concerns the family: None of us have ever met his family. I feel that there is something that he is trying to hide, and it is really scaring us all. We have mentioned it to her, but all she does is brush it off saying that we’re just jealous of her happiness and to just butt out of her business. Chat Daddy, something just ain’t right. I really need your help on this one. -Who’s His Family
Dear Who’s His Family, Yes, this does sound rather suspicious. The only thing that I would suggest is that you be there for your cousin if at any time the dirt should hit the fan. Constantly badgering her about it won’t make the situation get any better. However, one last heart to heart might not be a bad idea. Simply express to her that you care about her and want only the best for her, and the fact that you all have never met his side of the family-soon-to-be is strange. How about suggesting a family get-together at your house and invite his peeps. That may be a good icebreaker to see exactly who these people are and how they operate. Find out if she really knows what she’s getting into and provide all the unconditional love and support that she deserves. If she still wants to marry this man, support her. She’s a grown woman who is taking care of business and knows what she wants out of life. There’s really nothing else that you can do except stand by her right now. Be encouraged.
Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via email at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com
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