Dear Chat Daddy,
I’m a 37-year-old married man with two children. I’ve been on my job for 20 years now and make decent money. Due to the recent slump in the economy, my wife (who is a stay at home mom) has placed our family on a budget. I hav
Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 37-year-old married man with two children. I’ve been on my job for 20 years now and make decent money. Due to the recent slump in the economy, my wife (who is a stay at home mom) has placed our family on a budget. I have no problem with being the bread winner of our household, but my wife has become a serious control freak with our finances. Every time I get paid, I hand over my whole paycheck. I do this knowing that she will make the budget work. Recently I asked her for $40 so I could go hang out with a few of my guys after work one day. Surprisingly, she went off saying that times are tough and that I don’t need to be hanging out spending money and that all of my friends are no good. What should I do? -Our Issues Over The Budget
Dear Our Issues Over The Budget, Oh my. You mean to tell me that she went off on you over a measly $40, and you are the bread winner of the household. Now that’s deep. This letter almost indicates that there is something more going on with your relationship. I am sensing that there are some underlying issues that are surfacing that need to be faced and dealt with. Have there been any problems regarding you going out with friends before? Any insecurity issues that the two of you have dealt with in the past that haven’t been settled? Sit down and have a serious little chat with her, and express exactly how her blowup made you feel. Really try to get to the root of the real problem and focus on coming to a clear, concise solution as adults. It is one thing to be financially responsible together as a married couple but another to be controlling about the situation. There simply is a fine line. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy, I’m a 29 year old who has been married for 10 years. My husband is 33 years old and has been working on his singing career for the last five years. I must admit that my husband’s singing is good, and I’m proud of the fact that he has finally gotten his first recording contract. Chat Daddy, now that his career is taking off, he is really showing his true colors. Everywhere we go there are always tons of women in his face, and I even see women trying to steal my man right in front of my face. He even told me that his manager told him not to admit that he is married because this would mess up his sex symbol image. Every time I try to address his crazy actions, he quickly tells me that I’m “hating” on him or I’m jealous of his success. Why would he think like this when I’ve been the one who has been taking care of everything (car notes, bills and his studio time), while his career was developing? Chat Daddy, is this a mess or what? Please help me out. -We’ve Come Too Far For This Type Of Drama
Dear We’ve Come Too Far For This Type Of Drama, Yes sister girl, this is a mess you are in. The way I see it, you are asking yourself, “to honor thy husband or to let his ego-tripping behind go?” That seems to be the real question here. If you have been faithfully taking care of him during his development process and now that he has a recording contract, he wants to act as if he’s not married to you, that is considered rude and extremely disrespectful in my book. A real man has no problem admitting to the world that he loves his woman and does not have a problem admitting all of the great things his woman has done to make him a complete man. It seems that he may be trying to side step a few issues that are going on in your relationship. For him to be finally receiving his career blessing, which will allow you both to embark on a new chapter in your lives is great only if he gives you your respect and honor for standing by his side, as his wife. His new manager needs to be kicked to the curb for his crazy suggestion of not acknowledging you as his wife. When we invest our time, energy and efforts into the ones we love, we hope that they will honor us by offering us a healthy dose of reciprocity in return. Here’s to your marriage and your husband’s career both standing the true test of being in the spotlight of love.
Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.
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