Dear Chat Daddy,
I am a 22-year-old woman who has been with my man since we were sophomores in high school. I love him with all of my heart and cannot see myself without him. Here’s the problem: I am beginning to notice some things that make me a l
Dear Chat Daddy, I am a 22-year-old woman who has been with my man since we were sophomores in high school. I love him with all of my heart and cannot see myself without him. Here’s the problem: I am beginning to notice some things that make me a little nervous. Lately we have been getting into many arguments over silly things, and once, he told me that he didn’t need me. He has been drinking a lot and one night it got so bad that he jumped in my face and threatened to knock my teeth out. I really love this man, but he needs help. I don’t want to leave him because I know that he is going through a lot in his life. He has asked me to marry him and I said yes, but I just don’t know. I remember when things were so beautiful between us. Chat Daddy, please help because I don’t know what to do. -Love Is Pain
Dear Love Is Pain, I am very happy that you reached out to me. Thank you for your letter. However, sweetheart, you must hurry and RUN from this situation. This has all the makings of a domestic violence issue. You cannot allow yourself to be disrespected in this way because you have so much to live for and so many dreams to make a reality. While it is understandable that you have been with this man ever since you were a teenager, please realize that your time, energy and life are worth far more than allowing someone to jump in your face as if to attack you. Trust me, if you marry this clown it will only worsen and the abuse will not only escalate but will eventually destroy you. I suggest that you end the relationship and get some help with a spiritual counselor in the process to help you get through this. Be encouraged.
Dear Chat Daddy, I am a retired grandmother who has agreed to let my 16-year-old granddaughter live with me, due to her mother raising five other children. She has been with me for a year now, and we live on the South Side. Recently, I have been noticing money disappearing from the household and to my dismay because I am on a fixed income. We are the only two in the house and I often lay money around just because I would hate to think that she is stealing from me, but I can no longer ignore this issue. When I confronted her, she became defensive and stormed out. I love her with all my heart, but I don’t know how to deal with this. -You Can’t Steal From Granny
Dear You Can’t Steal From Granny, I am sorry to hear that you are having this problem with your granddaughter. I suggest that you, as the head of the household, have a good, frank chat with your granddaughter and her mother about this issue. The three of you need to discuss this as a family in order to come up with a solution. Simply let her know that you cannot, and refuse, to take care of someone who is biting the hand that is feeding her. You and your daughter have to come up with another arrangement to settle this. If you are willing to forgive your granddaughter, then please be careful and seriously think about allowing her to stay with you. But if she has taken money from you behind your back, it may be time for her to return to her mother. Be encouraged.
Art “Chat Daddy” Sims can be reached via e-mail at chatdaddy@chicagodefender.com.
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